Dealing With "Difficult" People On The Internet

After much mental toil, I believe I have created the ultimate solution to dealing with "difficult" people on the internet. It will take some time to implement as a fundamental shift in communications technology, but here goes.

First off, let's define some terms. What is a difficult person? In layman's terms,  "difficult person" is a euphemism for "A-hole."

Next, let's consider traditional approaches for dealing with such people. A common approach is to hear the difficult person out, to consider their point of view, and to respond with restraint and forbearance - after all, the difficult person could simply be having a bad day, or have a medical problem that causes intense discomfort in the rectum.

However, tolerance for difficult behavior will not affect a change. Though some might say it's better than fighting back, which often exacerbates the behavior, both approaches are suboptimal; what we want is to terminate the behavior and deter it from happening again.

This is where a fundamental shift in technology is required. The inherent flaw in internet-enabled devices is that they remove users from the effects of proximate interpersonal interaction, i.e. physical space. This flaw actually encourages difficult behavior by removing certain dynamics of real-world interaction.

For example, in real life, people often refrain from making inflammatory remarks to people directly in front of them for fear of being punched squarely in the face, which, in principle, is what they rightly deserve. The absence of this consequence in internet technology is, thus, the root cause of difficult behavior.

Therefore, I propose an overhaul in the design of internet-enabled devices to include two new features:

1. Real-time, device-specific tracking of internet devices to the extent that every post is traceable to its source.

2. A "pain-inducing module," in the form of 120 volts of electric shock delivered through the user interface at the point of physical contact, initiated either remotely by the offended party, website owner, or through automatic, semantic detection on the device itself.
 
There is no better method of conditioning against antisocial behavior than physical pain. As a so-called "enlightened" society, we seem to have lost our way in terms of realistic perspectives on human nature. This epidemic of a-hole behavior on the internet needs to be dealt with directly. Henceforth, I urge all who are in agreement with my proposal to take action toward its fulfillment.

Thank you.